She's JV to your varsity
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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