i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
