oh god the rape fog is back!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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