it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
