North Korea, Best Korea!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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