you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize