so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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