Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
