you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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