thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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