that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
