You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just gargled with NyQuil
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
