Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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