what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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