Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
