Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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