I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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