do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
its not stalking. its research.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
