ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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