i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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