He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
