I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
