Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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