What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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