i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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