I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize