when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
