Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
