She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
barbara walters just said penis...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
