This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
