You're my little dorito
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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