I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
