i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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