i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
