i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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