he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
