Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
