yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
