oh god the rape fog is back!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
