One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
