He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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