This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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