Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
