im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
