how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
