hell yes lets make some ravioli
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
