plz talk dirty to me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
