I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
