At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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