What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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