I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
