I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
