Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
