The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
