Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
