Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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