Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
