I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize