We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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