Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have fence marks all over my body
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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