can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize