broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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